of Christ, that love presenteth itself unto my me-
mory, with which the blessed Mary Magdalen,
loving our Lord more than herself, followed him in
his journey to his death, attending upon him when [5]
-his disciples fled, and being more willing to die with
him than to live without him. But not finding the fa-
vor to accompany him in death, and loathing to re-
main in life after him, the fire of her true affection in-
flamed her heart, and her inflamed heart resolved into [10]
incessant tears ; so that burning and bathing between
love and grief, she led a life ever dying, and felt a
death never ending ; and when he by whom she lived
was dead, and she for whom he died enforcedly left
alive, she praised the dead more than the living ; and [15]
having lost that light of her life, she desired to dwell
in darkness and in the shadow of deaths choosing
Christ's tomb for her best home, and his corse for her
chief comfort : for Mary (as the Evangelist saith)
"stood without at the tomb, weeping." [20]
But, alas ! how unfortunate is this woman, to whom
neither life will afford a desired farewell, nor death
allow any wished welcome ! She hath abandoned the
living, and chosen the company of the dead ; and now
it seemeth that even the dead have forsaken her, since [25]
the corse she seeketh is taken away from her ; and
this was the cause that love induced her to stand, and
sorrow enforced her to weep. Her eye was watchful
to seek whom her heart most longed to enjoy, and her
feet in readiness to run if her eye should chance to [30]
espy him ; and therefore she standeth to be still stir-
ing, prest to watch every way, and prepared to go
whither any hope should call her. But she wept be-
cause she had such occasion of standing ; and that
which moved her to watch, was the motive of her tears. [35]
Yet was not this the entrance, but the increase of her
grief - not the beginning, but the renewing of her
moans ; for first she mourned for the departing of his
soul out of his body, and now she lamented the taking
of his body out of the grave ; being punished with two [40]
wrecks of her only welfare, both full of misery, but
the last without all comfort. The first original of her
sorrow grew, because she could not enjoy him alive ;
yet this sorrow had some solace, for that she hoped to
have enjoyed him dead. [45]
But when she considered that his life was already
lost, and now not so much as his body could be found,
she was wholly daunted with dismay, since this un-
happiness admitted no help. She doubted lest the love
of her Master (the only portion that her fortune had [50]
left her) would soon languish in her cold breast, if it
neither had his words to kindle it, his presence to
cherish it, nor so much as his dead ashes to foster it.
She had prepared her spices, and provided her oint-
ment, to pay him the last tribute of external duties ; [55]
and though Joseph and Nicodemus had already be-
stowed an hundred pounds of myrrh and aloes, which
was in quantity sufficient, in quality of the best, and
as well applied as art and devotion could devise ; yet
such was her love, that she would have thought any [60]
quantity too little, except her's had been added ; the
best in quality too mean, except her's were with it ;
and no diligence in applying it enough, except her
service were in it. Not that she was sharp in cen-
suring what others had done, but because love made [65]
her so desirous to do all herself, that though all had
been done that she could devise, and as well as she
could wish, yet unless she were an actor, it would not
suffice ; since love is as eager to be uttered in effects,
as it is zealous in true affection. She came, therefore, [70]
now, meaning to embalm his corse as she had before
anointed his feet, and to preserve the relics of his body
as the only remnant of all her bliss. And as in the
spring of her felicity she had washed his feet with her
tears, bewailing unto him the death of her own soul, [75]
so now she came, in the depth of her misery, to shed
them afresh for the death of his body : but when she
saw the grave open, and the body taken out, the la-
bour of embalming was prevented, but the cause of
her weeping increased ; and he that was wanting to [80]
her obsequies, was not wanting to her tears ; and tho
she found not whom to anoint, yet found she whom
to lament.
And not without cause did Mary complain, finding
her first anguish doubled with a second grief, and [85]
being surcharged with two most violent sorrows in
one afflicted heart ; for having settled her whole af-
fection upon Christ, and summed all her desires and
wishes into the love of his goodness, as nothing could
equal his worth, so was there not in the whole world [90]
either a greater benefit for her to enjoy than himself,
or any greater damage possible than his loss. What
marvel, therefore, that her vehement love to so lovely
a Lord should feel as bitter pangs at his loss, as before
it tasted joys in his presence ; and open as large an [95]
issue to tears of sorrow, as heretofore to tears of con-
tentment ? And though tears were apter to nourish
than diminish her grief, yet now being plunged into
the depth of pain, she yielded herself captive to all
discomfort, carrying an overthrown mind in a more [100]
enfeebled body ; and still busy in devising, but ever
doubtful in defining, what she might best do : for
what could a silly woman do but weep, that, floating
in a sea of cares, found neither ear to hear her, nor
tongue to direct her, nor hand to help her, nor heart [105]
to pity her in her desolate case ? True it is that Peter
and John came with her to the tomb, and, to make
trial of her report, were both within it ; but as they
were speedy in coming, and diligent in searching, so
were they as quick to depart, and fearful of farther [110]
seeking. And, alas ! what gained she by their com-
ing but two witnesses of her loss, two dismayers of her
hope, and two partners of a new despair ? Love moved
them to come, but their love was soon conquered
with such fear, that it suffered them not to stay. But [115]
Mary, hoping in despair, and persevering in hope,
stood without fear, because she now thought, nothing
left that ought to be feared, for she hath lost her
Master, to whom she was so entirely devoted, that he
was the total of her loves, the height of her hopes, [120]
and the uttermost of her fears ; and therefore, besides
him she could neither love any other creature, hope
for any other comfort, nor fear any other loss. The
worst she could fear was the death of her body ; and
that she rather desired than feared, since she had al- [125]
ready lost the life of her soul, without which, any
other life would be a death ; and with which, any
other death would have been a delight. But now she
thought it better to die than to live, because she might
happily, dying, find whom, not dying, she looked not [130]
to enjoy ; and not enjoying, she had little to
live. For now she loved nothing in her life but her
love to Christ ; and if any thing did make her willing
to live, it was only the unwillingness that his image
should die with her, whose likeness love had engraved [135]
on her heart, and treasured up in her sweetest memo-
ries ; and had she not feared to efface the tablet, and
to break open the closet to which she had entrusted
this last relick of her lost happiness, the violence of
grief would have melted her heart into inward tears, [140]
and blotted her remembrance with a faithful oblivion.
And yet nevertheless she is now in so imperfect a sort
alive, that it is proved true in her, that love is strong as
death.
Notes
[l18] corse: corpse, remains.
[l20]:
[11] But Mary stood at the sepulchre without, weeping. Now as she was weeping, she stooped down, and looked into the sepulchre [John 20][l112] dismayers: dismayer - One who dismays or appals.
No comments:
Post a Comment