O too fortunate a lot for so unfortunate a woman to
crave ! No, no - I do not crave it, for, alas! I dare not.
Yet if such an oversight be committed, I do now before-
hand forgive that sinner and were it no more presump-
tion to wish it while alive, than to suffer it when dead;
if I knew the party that should first pass by me. I would
woo him with my tears, and hire him with my prayers,
to bless me with this felicity. And though I do not
wish any to do it, yet this (without offence) I may say
to all, that I love this sindon above all clothes in the
world, and I esteem this tomb more than any prince's
monument ; yea, I think that corse highly favoured
that shall succeed my Lord in it ; and for my part, as
I mean that the ground where I stand shall be my
death-bed, so am I not of Jacob's mind, to have my
body buried far from the place where it dieth, but even
in the next and readiest grave, and that too as soon as
my breath faileth, since delays are bootless where
death has won possession.
But, alas ! I dare not say any more. Let my body
take such fortune as befalleth it; my soul, at the
least, shall dwell in this sweet paradise, and from this
brittle case of flesh and blood pass presently into the
glorious tomb of God and man. It is now enwrapped
in a mass of corruption it shall then enjoy a place of
high perfection. Where it is now, it is more by force
than by choice, and like a repining prisoner in a loathed
gaol ; but then in a little room it shall find perfect
rest, and in the prison of death the liberty of a joyful
life. O sweet tomb of my sweetest Lord! while I
live I will stay by thee ; when I die I will cling unto
thee ; neither alive nor dead will I ever be drawn from
thee . Thou art the altar of Mercy, the temple of
Truth, the sanctuary of Safety, the grave of Death,
and the cradle of Eternal Life« O cistern of my inno-
cent Joseph, take me into thy dry bosom, since I, and
not he, gave just cause of offence to my enraged
brethren ! But, alas ! in what cloud hast thou hidden
the light of our way ? Upon what shore hast thou
cast the preacher of all truth ? To, what Israelite hast
thou yielded the purveyor of our life ? Oh, unhappy
that I am ! why did I not before think of that which
I now ask ? Why did I leave him when I had him,
thus to lament him now that I have lost him ? If I
had watched with perseverance, either none would
have taken him, or they should have taken me with
him. But through too much preciseness in keeping
the law, I have lost the law-maker j and by being
too scrupulous in observing his ceremonies, I have
proved irreligious in losing himself; for I should
rather have remained with the truth, than have for-
saken it to solemnise the figure. The Sabbath could
not have been profaned in standing by that corse
by which profane things are sanctified, and whose
touch doth not defile the clean, but cleanseth the
most defiled. But when it was time to stay, I depart-
ed : - when it was too late to help, I returned; and
now I repent my folly, when it cannot be amended.—
But let my heart dissolve in sighs, my eyes melt in
teats, and my desolate soul languish in dislikes ; yea,
let all that I am and have endure' the punishnent it de-
serves ; so that if lie was incensed with fault, he
may be appeased with my penance.
Thus when her timorous conscience had accused her
of so great an omission, and her tongue enforced the
evidence with those bitter accusations. Love, that was
now the only umpire in all her causes, condemned her
eyes to a fresh shower of tears, her breast to a new
storm of sighs, and her soul to be the perpetual pri-
soner to restless sorrows.
But O, Mary, thou deceivest thyself in thy own de-
sires, and it well appeareth that excess of grief hath
produced in thee a defect of due providence. And
wouldst thou, indeed, have thy wishes come to pass,
and thy words fulfilled ? Tell me, then, if thy heart
were dissolved, where wouldst thou harbour thy Lord ?
What wouldst thou offer him ? How wouldst thou
love him? Thine eyes have lost him, thy hands cannot
feel him, thy feet cannot follow him ; and if he be at
all in thee, it is thy heart that hath him ; and wouldst
thou now have that dissolved, from thence also to exile
him ?
O, Mary, thou didst not remark what thy master
was wont to say, when he told thee that the third day
he should rise again ; for if thou hadst heard him, or
at least understood him, thou wouldst not be thus
overwhelmed and embarrassed. And therefore repair
to the angels, and enquire more of them, lest the Lord
he displeased, that, coming. from him, thou wilt not
entertain them.
But Mary's devotions were all fixed upon a nobler
Saint, and she had so firmly bound her thoughts
to his affection alone, that she rather desired to un-
know those whom she knew already, than to burthen
her mind with the knowledge of any new acquaintance ;
she could not force her will, long since possessed with
the highest love, to stoop to the acceptance of any
meaner friendship. It was for this, that though she
did not scornfully reject, yet did she with humility
refuse, the angels' company, thinking it no discourtesy
to leave them, in order to devote herself more wholly
to her Lord, to whom both she and they were wholly
devoted, and owed the utmost debt of love and duty.
Sorrow, too, being now the only interpreter of all that
sense delivered to her understanding, made her con-
sider their demand in a more doubtful than true
meaning;
If (said she) they came to ease my affliction, they
could not be so ignorant of the cause ; and if they
were not ignorant of it, they would never ask it :-
why then did they say, Woman, why weepest thou? -
If their question did import a prohibition, the necessity
of the occasion doth countermand their counsel ; and
fitter it were they should weep with me, than I obey
them by not weeping. If the sun were ashamed to
show his brightness, when the Father of lights was
darkened with such disgrace if the heavens, dis-
figuring their beauties, suited themselves to their
Maker's form ; - if the whole frame of Nature were al-
most dissolved, to see the Author of Nature so unna-
turally abused ; - why may not angels, that best know
the indignity of the case, make up a part in this la-
mentable concert ? and especially now, when, by the
loss of his body, the cause of weeping is increased, and
yet the number of mourners lessened : for the apos-
tles are lied, and all his friends afraid, and poor I left
alone to supply the tears of all creatures. 0 who will
give water to my head, and a fountain of tears unto my
eyes, that I may weep day and night, and never cease
weeping ?
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