or with what heart, couldst thou stand alone, when
the Disciples were departed ? Thou wert there once
before they came, thou turnedst again at their com-
ing, and yet thou stayest when they are gone! -
Alas ! that thy Lord is not in the tomb, thine own [150]
eyes have often seen, the Disciples' hands have felt,
the empty sindon doth avouch ; and cannot all this
win thee to believe it ? No, no - thou would'st rather
condemn thine own eyes of error, and both their eyes
and hands of deceit - yea, rather suspect all testimonies [155]
for untrue, than not seek him whom thou hast lost,
even there where by no diligence he could be found.
When thou thinkest of other places, and canst not
imagine any so likely as this, thou lookest again into
this ; for though never so often searched, it is still a [160]
haunt for hope : for when things dearly affected are
lost, love's nature is, never to be weary of searching
even the oftenest-searched corners ; being more willing
to think that all the senses are mistaken, than to yield
that hope should quail. Yet now since it is so evi- [165]
dent that he is taken away, what should move thee to
remain here, where the peril is apparent, and no profit
likely ? - Can the wit of a woman wholly possessed with
passion have more light to discern danger than two
men, both principal favorites of the parent of all wis- [170]
dom ? Or were not two together, both to Christ
sworn champions, each to other affected friends, and
to all his enemies professed foes, more likely to have
prevailed than one feminine heart, timorous by nature,
and already amazed with this dreadful accident ? [175]
But, alas ! why do I urge her with reason, whose
reason is altered into love, and who judgeth it folly to
follow such reason as would any way impair her love ?
Her thoughts were arrested by every thread of Christ's
sindon, and she was captive to as many fetters as the [180]
tomb had memories of her lost master. What marvel,
then, that the Apostles' example drew her not away,
since the violence of her love enforced her to remain,
prescribed laws to her will, and suffered her to be
guided by no other law but itself ? She could not think [185]
of any fear, nor stand in fear of any force. Love armed
her against all hazards ; and being already wounded
with the greatest grief, she had no leisure to remember
any lesser evil. Yea, she had forgotten all things, and
herself among all things, only mindful of him she [190]
loved above all things. And yet her love, by reason of
her loss, drowned both her mind and memory so deep
in sorrow, and so busied her mind in the conceit of his
absence, that all remembrance of his former promises
was diverted with the throng of present discomforts ; [195]
and she seemed to have forgotten also him, besides
whom she remembered nothing : for doubtless had she
remembered him as she should, she would not have now
thought the tomb a fit place to seek him, neither would
she mourn for him as dead, and removed by others' [200]
force, but joy in him, as revived and risen by his own
power - for he had often foretold the manner of his
death, and the day of his resurrection. But, alas !
let her heaviness excuse her, and the unwontedness of
the miracle plead her pardon, since dread and amaze- [205]
ment have dulled her senses, distempered her thoughts,
discouraged her hopes, awaked her passions, and left
her no other liberty but to weep. She wept, there-
fore, being only able to weep. And as she was weep-
ing, she stooped down, and looked into the monument, [210]
qnd she saw two angels in white, sitting one at the head,
and the other at the feet, where the body of Jesus had
been laid. They said unto her, Woman, why weepest
thou? — John xx.
O Mary, thy good help exceedeth thy hope ; and [215]
and where thy last sorrow was bred, thy first succour
springeth. Thy weeping was for a man,and thy tears
have obtained angels. Suppress now thy sadness and
refresh thy heart with this good fortune. These an-
gels invite thee to a parley - they seem to take pity of [220]
thy case, and it may be they have some happy tidings
to tell thee. Thou hast hitherto sought in vain, as
one either unseen or unknown, or at the least unre-
garded since the party thou seekest neither tendereth
thy tears nor answereth thy cries, nor relenteth with [225]
thy lamentings. Either he doth not hear, or he will
not help. He hath, peradventure, left to love thee,
and is loth to yield thee relief ; and therefore take such
comfort as thou findest, since thou art not so lucky as
to find that which thou couldst wish. Remember what [230]
they are, where they sit, whence they come, and to
whom they speak. They are angels of peace, neither
sent without cause, nor seen but of favour ; they sit in
the tomb, to shew that they are no strangers to thy
loss ; they come from Heaven, from whence all happy [235]
news descendeth ; they speak to thyself, as though
they had some special embassage to deliver to thee. -
Ask them, therefore, of thy master, for they are like-
liest to return thee a desired answer. Thou knowest
him too well to think that hell had devoured him : [240]
thou hast long sought, and hast not found him on
earth ; and what place so fit for him as in Heaven? -
Ask, therefore, of those angels that came newly from
thence, and it may he their report will highly please
thee : or if thou art resolved to continue thy seeking, [245]
who can better help thee than they that are as swift as
thy thought, as faithful as thine own heart, and as
loving to thy Lord as thou thyself? Take, therefore,
thy good hap, lest it be taken away from thee, and
content thee with angels, since thy master hath given [250]
thee over.
But, alas ! what meaneth this change ? and how
happeneth this strange alteration ? The time hath
been, that fewer tears would have wrought greater
effect, shorter seeking have sooner found, and less pain [255]
have procured more pity : - the time hath been, that
thy anointing his feet was accepted and praised, thy
washing them with tears highly commended, and thy
wiping them with thy hair most courteously construed.
How then doth it now fall out, that having brought [260]
thy sweet oils to anoint his whole body having shed as
many tears as would have washed more than his feet ;
and having not only thy hair, but thy heart, ready to
serve him, he is not moved, with all these duties, so
much as once to afford thee his sight ? Is it not he [265]
that reclaimed thee from thy wandering courses, that
dispossessed thee of thy damned inhabitants, and from
the wilds of sin recovered thee into the fold and family
of his flock ? Was not thy house his home, his love
thy life, thyself his disciple ? Did not he defend thee [270]
against the Pharisee^ plead for thee against Judas, and
excuse thee to thy sister ? In fine, was not he thy pa-
tron and protector in all thy necessities ?
O good Jesu ! what hath thus estranged thee from
her ? Thou hast heretofore so pitied her tears, that [275]
seeing them, thou couldst not refrain thine own. In
one of her greatest agonies for love of her that so much
loved thee, thou didst recall her dead brother to life,
turning her complaint into unexpected contentment :
and we know that thou dost not use to alter course [280]
without cause, nor to chastise without desert. Thou
art the first that invitest, and the last that forsakest ;
never leaving but when first left, and ever offering
till thou art refused. How then hath she forfeited thy
favour, or with what trespass hath she earned thy ill- [285]
will ? That she never ceased to love thee, her heart
will depose, her tongue will protest, her tears will
testify, and her seeking doth assure. And, alas ! is her
particular case so far from example, that thou shouldst
rather alter thy nature, than she better her fortune, [290]
and be to her as thou art to no other ? For our parts,
since thy last shew of liking towards her, we have
found no other fault in her but that she was the earliest
up to seek thee, the readiest to anoint thee, and, when
she saw that thou wert removed, she forthwith did [295]
weep for thee, and presently went for help to find thee.
And whereas those two that she brought, being less
careful of thee than fearful of themselves, when they
had seen what she had said, suddenly shrunk away, be-
hold she still stayeth, she still seeketh, she still weep- [300]
eth. - If this be a fault, we cannot deny but this she
doth, and to this she persuadeth ; yea, this she neither
meaneth to amend, nor requested thee to forgive. If,
therefore, thou reckonest this as punishable, punished
she must be, since no excuse hath effect, where the [305]
fact pleadeth guilty. But if this import not any of-
fence, but a true affection, and be rather, a good desire
than an evil desert, why art thou so hard a judge to so
soft a creature, requiting her love with thy loss, and
suspending her hopes in this unhappiness ? Are not [310]
these thy words ? I love those that love me : and who
watcheth early for me shall find me. -Why then doth
not this woman find thee, that was up so early to
watch for thee ? Why dost thou not with like repay
her, that bestoweth upon thee her whole love, since [315]
thy word is her warrant, and thy promise her due
debt ? Art thou less moved with these tears that she
sheddeth for thee, her only master, than thou wert with
those she shed before thee for her deceased brother ?
or doth her love to thy servant more please thee than [320]
her love to thyself ? Our love to others must not be
to them, but to thee in them: for he loveth thee so
much the less, that loveth any thing with thee. If,
therefore, she then deserved well for loving thee in
another, she deserveth better now for loving thee in [325]
thyself ; and if indeed thou lovest those that love thee,
did not see a cause for which he will not be seen by
thee. Still thy plaint, and stay thy weeping, for I
doubt there is some trespass in thy tears, and some sin
in thy sorrow. Dost thou not remember his words to [330]
thee and to the other women, when he said, Daughters
cf Jerusalem, weep not for me, but for yourselves and for
your children ? What meanest thou then by continuing
this course ? Doth he forbid thy tears, and wilt thou
not forbear them ? Is it no fault to infringe his will, [335]
or is not that his will which his words import ? The
fault must be mended ere the penance be released, and
therefore either cease to weep, or never hope to find.
But I know this logic little pleaseth thee, and I might
as soon win thee to forbear living, as to leave weeping. [340]
Notes
[l152] sindon: A fine thin fabric of linen; a kind of cambric or muslin.1582 Bible (Rheims) Matt. xxvii. 59 Ioseph taking the body, wrapt it in cleane sindon.[l237] embassage: The message conveyed by an ambassador; the business entrusted to him. 1609 Shakespeare Sonnets xxvi. sig. C2, To thee I send this written ambassage.
jjj
No comments:
Post a Comment